Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize