quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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