dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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