I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
