I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
