Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
They have beer where we have blood.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
