you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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