He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
