you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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