I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
