i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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