He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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