i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
