Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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