just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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