You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
