the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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