i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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