Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
