my vag is so smooth its legendary
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
