idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize