i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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