Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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