Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
