I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
