At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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