it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize