I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
