He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
True but thats because hes a fetus.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Every concussion has its silver lining
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
