i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
