At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize