oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We left an ass print on the piano.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
