Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
