My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
