I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
