he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The Olympian is in my bed
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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