I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
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I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
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People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick