I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
