Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
