he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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