i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
