You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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