I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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