Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
