As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
