she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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