I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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