marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
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So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
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my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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