you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
