Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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