Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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