White coat. Heels.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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