I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
