Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
