And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
