Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
