he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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