Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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