I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
