I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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