Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We were destined to go to rehab together
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
